I used a meditation app for 30 days and all I got was one with the universe

I am a leaf on the wind, a zen master, and a techno-guru who inspires calm and balance in all those who gaze upon me. Okay, I’m actually a slow-motion train wreck. But I spent 30 days with the Headspace app, meditating my ass off, in order to fix that. That’s another lie. The truth is, I set out to meditate for 30 days straight and failed miserably. In one month I managed to complete a 10-minute meditation session 11 times, including one stretch that lasted for five days straight. Carving time out of my day is difficult, breaking decades-old…

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